Incredible India

by Sardar Amjad Ali

It is the best of times, it is the worst of times for Incredible India.

Best, for those who after a period of 64 years could get a magnificent mandate of the Indian electorate to rule over a country of 125 million mixed population, the majority being ‘true nationalists’ and educate a fringe minority about what ‘nationalism’ means, and worst, for those who like fools of the first order believed to live in harmony with those who believe that ‘Bharat’ means ‘Hindustan’, not “India†as a Dalit ‘Babasaheb’ scripted in the Holy Book of the Nation, called ‘Sambidhan’ (constitution).

Best, for those who preach that ‘equal opportunity and equal protection in the eye of law’ can never be achieved till the time a Village gets a ‘Samshan’ if the other has a ‘Kabrasthan’.

Worst, for those who, forgetful of their descent failed to run away from a land of the ‘Rama’ and take shelter in a land created for those hapless unwanted humans where an ‘unseen entity’ is worshipped five times a day.

Best, for those who enjoy the sacred right to lynch them who not being ‘Sachcha Brahmins’ dare eating the ‘forbidden’ flesh on their religious or social occasions;

Worst, for those who do not have the right to remind that only they can be regarded ‘Sachcha Brahmins’ who enjoyed that liberty of eating the ‘forbidden flesh’ at the time of yagnas, shradh ceremonies, sacred thread ceremonies and the like as enjoined in the Holy Vedas.

Best, for those who enjoy ‘unimpeached’ fundamental freedom to run largest abbotoirs in ’Punnya Bharatbhumi’ to earn crores in ‘Forex’ by exporting the ‘forbidden flesh’ and offer pujas to ‘Devi Durga’ or ‘Lord Shiva’ buying ‘Prashadi Pushpas’ with that hard-earn money.

Worst, for those who indulge in the unforgiveable crime of trading with the unproductive livestocks to earn their daily bread in an independent ‘Hindusthan’ of 64, where their ancestors had, without any caveat, lived on the same trade for their bread.

Best, for those who are destined to equate a ’Dalit’ with a ‘canine’ by the virtue of being a privileged ‘Mantri’ in the Government of the day;

Worst, for those who having born in the family of a ‘Chamar’ are destined to live their life under the shade of the upper-caste ‘Gosevaks’ because they seek to live on the skin of a dead cow left in a ‘Bhagar’ (depository of dead cattles).

Best, for those who had refused to hoist the Tricolour, the national honour, in their party headquarters till they had their Atalji as the Premier of Great India getting the opportunity to unfurl the same tricolour from the ramparts of the historic Red Fort.

Worst, for those who pledge to save the honour of the Tricolour until death but should listen to the sermons from those who disowned it initially and learn from them what is ‘nationalism’.

Best, for the disciples of those who had signed letters of unqualified surrender to the British for not participating in the struggle for national liberation and remained outside the Jail.

Worst, for the descendants of those who had rotten inside the Andaman Cellular Jail and many other prisons in captive India for fighting for liberation of Mother India and now get tutored after 64 years as to how one should love ‘Bharatmata’.

It is the best of times for non-historians/non-archaeologists sadhus and Babajis to give the verdict of certainity over a controversial, if not imaginary, location of Lord Rama’s ‘garvogriha’ out of the debris of a demolished Babri.

It is worst of the times to brush aside Archaeologists Johna Marshall or G.R. Sharma or P.K. Mishra’s historical archaeological evidences as to how Buddhist establishments were damaged in 2nd Century BC by King Pushyamitra Sunga.

It is the best of the times for those, who can, with impunity, violate the provisions of the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955 without divorcing or paying any maintenance to the legally married ‘Sahadharmini’ and advise the nation to respect the ‘mahilas’ of Great India whose sons are identified as ‘Gandhari Putras’, ‘Kaushallya Tanaya’ and ‘Jasoda Nandans’.

It is the worst of times for those who, even if they have severed their matrimonial ties with their profligate wives according to their religious law, yet have to go behind the prison bar and maintain such ‘pious biwis unlike the ‘Mahamahim Pradhan Mantriji’.

Best for those who join the chorus of chanting unprecedented eulogies to an architect of ‘Vibrant India’ with modern technologies, scientific development, digital progress.

Worst for those, who to their astonishment for the first time come to learn from the same architect that the lord of wealth, the poor ‘Ganesha’ had undergone a plastic surgery and ‘Garuda’ had sailed in the skies of Wright brothers, as the genological parent of modern aircraft.

Best for those most-cultured, fortunate youths of modern India who suitably celebrate a blessed ‘Valentine’s Day’ on 14th of each February.

Worst for the old fools who still commemorate March 23rd as the day when a young man named Bhagat Singh embraced the gallows for this ‘Valentine’ ‘Mother India’.

Best for a ‘Dalit President’ of Hindustan to lecture to the nation that social and economic democracy cannot be achieved without treading the path the Dalit Babasaheb had suggested;

Worst for the Dalit Vemula to commit suicide for being unable to continue his higher studies as his scholarship was snatched by a Cabinet Minister of Dalit Modi’s Union Government.

Best for the ‘Pandits of Nagpur’ to educate the nation about the sanctity of the mythological myths that helped the Hindus to be a distinct nation in the world.

Worst for the Kalburgis, Dabholkars and Pansares to propagate their observations on the irrelevance of the mythological myths vis-a-vis the scientific progression.

Best for the Hon’ble Sadhvis and Sadhus decorating the Treasury Benches of the temple of Democracy, that is, the Parliament for their erudition to distinguish Indian Hindus and Non-Hindus into ‘Ramjads’ and ‘Haramjads’.

Worst for the Owasis or the Jamate Ulemas to raise their voice against the uncivilised hate campaigns and vilification against their religious compatriots being inspired by the revered Sadhus and Sadhvis.

Best for the Singhals and Katiars to boastfully suggest that the Mussalmans quit India and add as ’Neo-Rohingyas’ in Bangladesh and Pakistan.

Worst for the Gulam Nabis and Ahmed Patels to condemn the disgraceful observations of a presidential nominee in the House of Elders, that is, Rajya Sabha and advise him to refrain from making such invectives.

Best for those ‘Noble Entrepreneurs’ to plunder public money from the Banks by taking loans without securities or on the basis of letters of undertaking and then leave the country peacefully with their kith and kin while a vigilant chowkidar was in slumber.

Worst for the poor 24,962 farmers unable to survive in independent India for their inability to repay the debt they had taken for cultivation and cross the border without having a valid travel document but commit suicide for eternal respite from the burden of debt.

Best for Ambanis, Adanis, Eichers, Tatas and many others of the same clan to get registered their Non-Productive Assets of Rs 4,54,466 crores and by a midnight order of the Almighty Modi get those liabilities exonerated.

Worst for the poor artisans like Ramas and Sankaras to save their small homesteads, only shelters from being taken over and sold in auction under a draconian law known as Securitisation Act by a generous Government.

Best for a General of our Army to render political observations as to how demographic change helps Badruddin Ajmal of the All India Democratic United Front to increase their legislative representatives without successfully resisting the ‘invaders’ on different fronts of ‘Bharatbhumi’ from their murderous invasions;

Worst for Faruk Ahmad Dar to be out-of-doors for bringing medicine for an ailing mother but destined to be grabbed by General Rawat’s Major Beetul Gogoi to make him a human shielld, tied with chains in an Army jeep in his heroic move for resisting stone-pelters and achieve for the bravery a commendation from the Chief of our ‘Deshrakshaks’.

Best of the Chief Commander of the sevaks of Nagpur to appraise the nation that his Sayam Sevaks will take only three days preparations to face a war (fullfledged war) against any Army equipped with modern military hardware.

Worst for the entire rank of our Army platoon to swallow the sarcasm of the superior-in-command of our voluntary service Brigade (RSS) stationed in Maharashtra’s Nagpur, about their inefficient war preparedness.

Best for those 50 blessed Indians out of 125 millions to make default in repaying the bank debts amounting to Rs 40,528 crores, bunk Indian territory with their kith and kin peacefully without any hassle and settle in countries beyond the reach of Indian Law-keeping agency;

Worst for the Rams and Rahims of Independent India who took loans from the PSBS by hypotecating their small homesteads and ultimately turn homeless for their only shelter having been sold in auction for non-payment of the bank debt.

Best of the times for our public sector banks to write off bad debts of Rs 1,14,182 lakh crores since 2013-2015. Among those fortunates in the list are: Vijay Mallya, the Booz Baron - Rs 9,000 crores, Steel Magnet JRD Tata - Rs 34,000 crores, Reliance Group (Anil Ambani’s) - Rs 1.25 lakh crores, Gautam Adani - Rs 96,031 crores, Essar Group G.V.K. Raddy - Rs 33.933 crores, Videocon Group (Venugopal Dhoot) - Rs 45,403 crores, Lanco Group (Madhusudan Roy) - Rs 47,102 crores, Sajjan Jindal (ISW Group) - Rs 58,171 crores, J.P. Group - Rs 75,163 crores, Vedanta Group - Rs 1,03 crores.

Worst of the times for the hapless millions of ‘Swadhin Bharat’ to perform the role of poor onlookers and observe how their reserves in the public Sector banks is utilised by the Reserve Bank of India to recapitalise Rs 2.11 lakh crores to the gaping PSBS for their benevolent loan waiver policy.

Best of the times for five per cent of the 125 millions to have amassed 73 per cent of the national wealth within a period of four years of Vikas regime.

Worst of the times for the teeming millions to dance attendance in the office of Gaon Panchayats to get a ‘parchi’ for carrying headload of earth for building a Village pathway under the Mahatama Gandhi National Employment Guarantee Act (100 days work) on no work no pay basis.

It is the best of the times when within a period of four years India registers a number of 101 billionaries from seven.

It is the worst of the times in an era of ‘Sabka Saath Sabka Vikas’ with an average two lakh wage earners being thrown out of employment per year.

It is the best of the times for our ‘Chini bhai’ (China brother) to be endowed with an honour of manufacturing the tallest ever statue of Vallabhbhai at a cost of Rs 1300 crores.

It is the worst of the times for Indian labourers to wait for the benevolent enterpreneurs from abroad to visit, establish and start manufacturing their products with gleeful sticker ‘Make in India’ out of cheap labour and raw materials, of course, on their terms.

It is the best of the times for our Honourable Finance Minister Arun Jaitleyji to let the nation know that ‘drastic action’ in the nature of filing Arbitration proceedings before the National Company Law Tribunal against the debt default Corporates have been taken.

It is the worst of the times for the small or medium scale entrepreneurs to get their assets sold in auction as they are neither fortunate enough to get bank loans without collateral guarantees, nor are they ‘favoured customers’ in the banks’ vocabulary.

It is the best of the times for we, the Indians to hear Sashi Kanta Sharma, the Comptroller and Auditor General of India, that a significant part of NPAs amount to fraudulently obtained advances and a large part of these loans may now be irretrievable as they are likely to have been transferred abroad.

It is the worst of the times to educate ourselves that a vigilant Government has been writing off such corporate debts in lakhs of crores under what is called ‘Revenue Forgone’ now known by a new fancy name ‘Revenue impact of tax incentives’.

It is the best of the times of register the record that corporate tax dodgers get a tax waiver of Rs 7 crore every hour or Rs 168 crore every day or Rs 5.32 crore every hour as the ‘Revenue Forgone Statement’ dockets for 2013-14 speak.

It is the worst of the times to enrich our knowledge about the loan waived during the last three years of ‘Swachha Prasason’ is only 6.8 lakh crores of which 70 per cent beneficiaries of such waiver were the ‘poor corporates’.

It is the best of the times to build a modern India with our enlightened youth and inculcate into them a ‘Swadeshi Sanskriti’ of celebrating every 14th February as Valentine’s Day.

It is the worst of the times to foolishly commemorate March 23rd as the day when Bhagat Singh was hung in the gallows for his love of ‘Bharatbhumi’.

It is the best of times when we, Indians should not forget to celebrate the resuscictation of our Hindutva Sanskriti.

It is the worst of the times when we conveniently forget the culture of multiracial, multi-religious ramifications of a nation built through unity in diversity.

It is the best of the times to play the role of lickspittles of a covert fascist to survive in the ‘game of the devils’.

It is the worst of the times to shudder at the sight of a blood-soaked Gauri Lankesh.

Oh Mother India! we all—but very few of the ‘obscurantists and hypocrites’—dearly love you.

The author is a former Congress Member of the Lok Sabha.