Oh, My God! | J.L. Jawahar

Prof. Jonathan is teaching cosmology in the university college. He is considered an authority on cosmology and respected in academic circles for his scholarship. He can easily explain the origin of the universe and its evolution into galaxies, stars and planets. He agrees that the big bang was the point of origin for the universe. He tells the students also to take it for granted that the universe started from the Big Bang. He still wants to know what it was that was subjected to the bang – whether it is a collision between two bodies or an explosion of one body. If you go on searching for the First Cause, it ends nowhere and so he stopped inquiry about it ‘for the present’. He preferred to believe the theory of big bang because it is able to explain many of the subsequent developments. After all, the validity of any theory in science depends on its ability to explain the observed natural phenomena. Big bang theory is quite satisfactory in that regard and so he tells the students to take it for granted and start from there.

The question raises its head in his mind now and then. What was it that was subjected to big bang? Was it matter or energy? Einstein proved that matter can be converted into energy and theoretically, the reverse is also possible. Whatever it was, from where could it have come? He tries to convince himself that it all began with God in whom he believes. He is a scientist and takes pride in being one. He needs some empirical evidence to believe in anything. But God is something that has no such evidence. But still… He has to be there. Otherwise, how could all this happen? He finds a logical justification to believe in God and decided to go by that. Since then, science and God were having coexistence in his mind, without any conflict, like good neighbors. Having confirmed the existence of God, he still wants to know how God could do all this creation. After all, science is trying to know the process of God in the name of understanding nature! What is it that He could not do when He could create matter and subject it to the bang? What a marvelous creation it is! He, the one who created it all, must be omnipotent. Prof. Jonathan convinced himself to have faith in God and also that He is beyond the universe which he understands so well.

If it is necessary that everything must have a cause, God too must be having His origins somewhere. But where will it end if he goes on searching for the origin? So, he decided to agree that He is self-generating, He created Himself! Why not? He is omnipotent. He could do anything. Prof. Schneider is his colleague in the college. He teaches philosophy. One day during discussion he asked Jonathan why he could not consider matter itself self-generating instead of creating a God and attributing all the required capacities to Him. Then he will have no God. Jonathan pondered over it for a while and felt some disappointment. Something was missing. He felt some vacuum in the world without God. If there is no God how is the universe bound by such laws? Who gave the laws to it? As Schneider says, is it possible that matter itself has the laws built into it? But how can you agree matter itself has such capacities? It is something inert whereas God is …God. Isn’t it? It is necessary to have a God. But can you say whatever is necessary exists? Anthropologists and sociologists tell the same thing – that man created God by necessity to answer his doubts about the terrifying natural phenomena over which he could not find any control. Later, the same God was accepted as having all the powers required to save him from nature and used Him to unload all his worries over His shoulders. But it is revolting to Jonathan to say that man created God. It is against what the Bible says. They say God created man in His own image. That is why they depict God in human form in art and cinemas and also attribute all human qualities to Him, including love and anger, mercy and punishment. Jonathan decided to keep his faith in God without interfering with his science.

Thus, he is happy in his life. He has everything he requires. Nothing to complain about it. It could be that God is merciful to him. It made him more obedient to God and attribute his success and happiness to Him. Unfortunately, the wall he built between his science and belief is not impermeable. Now and then science permeates the spiritual half to question his faith and the spiritual half invades the science arena questioning his integrity. But the brain is an integrated organ. That is why the body functions as an efficient organization.

Of late, he started to doubt whether God is withdrawing His favors from him. His daughter Mercy is studying under the Biotechnology professor Ms.Julia in the same college. Julia is quite efficient in her work and takes good care of his daughter. She reports her progress which is encouraging. But the trouble is with her association with a Hindu boy studying with her. They are colleagues, no doubt. Both of them are making good progress in their studies and Julia appreciates them both. What worries Jonathan is the intimacy that is developing between the two students. He could not express his reservations to Julia as it reflects his narrow-mindedness. He tries to give a good impression of himself to Julia. She is a nice lady and he visits her frequently in the college. He does not have objection if his daughter dates the Hindu boy. After all, that is something accepted in his society. But if the relationship goes beyond that? That is what is troubling Jonathan. Not that he does not like Hindus. He has respect for religion, but only as a religion. He is afraid of the marital relationship between the two as it inevitably leads to conflict and friction that can disturb the marital bliss. As a father he has to take care of it. Even if they belong to the same religion, there are points of conflict as he realized in his own marital life. His wife suspects that he has some affection for Ms.Julia in his college. “How did she come to such conclusion; I don’t understand. Did I express it unconsciously any time?” he was thinking.

The case of his son Joseph is different. He is studying philosophy under Prof. Schneider and like Schneider, he starts arguing on everything, including God. After all, God is something that one should believe. Why argue about it? If you start arguing you cannot stay with God. He is worried his son may become an agnostic or a nihilist if not an atheist outright. He advises his son to have some faith in God as it is easy to build your life around Him, to develop some ethical values in life. His son immediately questioned whether it is not possible to have ethical values without believing in God. He could not answer. But it made him worry more.

One day he expressed his doubts about his son before his professor. Schneider simply laughed and said, “Prof. Jonathan, you are a scientist and I think you must be happy to find the scientific spirit in your son. Isn’t it?”
“Of course, but I am afraid he may become an atheist”.

“What if? Let him be one if his thinking leads him there”.

“What values he will have in life if he does not believe in God?”

Schneider laughed aloud and said, “Dear professor, do you still believe that those who believe in God have better moral values? Even after what our bishops and priests have done to the children on the altar. How did the churches have to pay millions of dollars as compensation to the children?

How millions of trust money were embezzled by them?” Jonathan fell silent.

After a while, Schneider consoled his colleague,”Don’t worry Jonathan! Your boy is a bright one and he knows what to believe and what to question”

That gave immense pleasure to Jonathan. Still, he was not happy at the possibility of his boy becoming an atheist and Schneider did not assure him of it.

Jonathan felt a bit uneasy when one day his daughter came home accompanied by her colleague Krishnan, the Hindu boy studying with her. After his daughter introduced him as her closest friend, he failed to know how to react to that. He could not fathom the relationship based on the introduction. With some difficulty, he managed to ask,

“Is he your boyfriend?” Krishnan was anxious to clarify his doubt:

“No, no uncle. No such boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. We are just friends.”
“You see daddy, his culture is different and it protects him from temptations” said Mercy, his daughter. He knows how his daughter likes the boy. He turned to his daughter and said, “Why don’t you get a cup of coffee for our guest?”

“Yes, in a minute” she said and disappeared.

Jonathan wanted some space for himself to talk to the boy.

“How are your studies my boy? I hope you did not neglect studies in the infatuation of your friendship”.

“No uncle, we are not so much infatuated. If you excuse us, we are just friends like any other classmates.”

“How is your professor, Julia?” he could not help asking.

“Yes, she is quite efficient to take care of our career and learning and expects us to stand out among the technical course faculty”.

Mercy came with coffee and Jonathan excused himself and left the room.
“It seems you have not alerted your father why we came today,” said Krishnan.

“Of course not. Where is the need? He knows we are colleagues and also that I like you immensely”

“But the talk of marriage is different from liking”.

Then Jonathan called for his daughter and Mercy left leaving Krishnan alone
Mercy took the opportunity to ask her father for permission to marry Krishnan.

“I was suspecting it since a long time, my darling! But did you think of the problems involved in living with a man of different religion and culture?”

“Yes daddy. We know the limits of religion in life. He happened to be a Hindu because he was born to Hindu family and I happen to be a Christian because I was born into your house. Neither of us adopted the religion of our own accord. Moreover, we find that religious beliefs and rituals do not have a place in our day-to-day life. In that respect we are free from all that. We can have a secular life, I think.”

Both of them came to Krishnan who finished his coffee.

“My dear boy, I am sorry I do not know how I should react to your proposal. You see, we are of the old type and new proposals easily disturb us. Please give me time to compose myself. I think you won’t misunderstand me.” Said Jonathan

“Thank you, uncle, we understand. Rest assured we will not step ahead without your blessings.”

And the boy left taking leave of him and the friend.

Jonathan was a bit bewildered. He could not find a reason to say no. At the same time, he was not convinced of what was happening to his children. How is it that his happy family is going in different ways? Did he fail in bringing them up in the way he wanted?

Like many other believers, he also thinks of God whenever there is a problem. He leaned back in his easy chair moaning “Oh, my God!”. He felt a cool hand on his shoulder and looked around. He could not find anybody and again tried to close his eyes. But the hand was still there on his shoulder. He turned back and saw a human form with a hazy outline. He was surprised that a stranger could enter his room incognito and tried to ask “May I know…” The man interrupted him saying “You do not know who I am?”

“Honestly…not,” said Jonathan.

“That is my pitiable condition. You just called me without knowing who I am”.

“Did I call you? Without knowing who you are?”

“You just called ‘Oh. My God’. Jonathan managed to laugh.

“You mean to say you are the God?”

“Yes I am. Am I not?”

Jonathan looked at him more closely. He realized the outline of the man was somewhat blurred, not distinct in detail and he could not touch him. He was not sure who it could be and hesitating to say anything.

“You have just called for me and I am here before you.”

“But it is only for saints that God presents Himself”.

“It is the other way round my boy! To whomsoever I appear, he is called a saint”.

“….But you look like a human being”.

“Why not? You believe God created man in his own image. Then it is but natural that I look like a human being. Isn’t it?”

“Of course. That is how we depict God in our art and cinemas.”

“But when I present myself before you, you do not recognize me”.

“God is omniscient, ..present everywhere..”

“That is how I am here. When you call for me, I take the shape and arrive…I know all”.

“You mean everything about me and my worries..?”

“Yes of course, all about your feelings for Julia and for your children…”
“What do you mean ‘my feelings for Julia?’”

“I know you like her.”

“She is my colleague and a respected professor in her field…”

“No denying it…I know you like her…” he stressed it.

Jonathan felt guilty. He has something more than liking for the girl…the lady. She is married and has two children. Her husband is a successful financier on Wall Street. She has a well satisfying life. But at times Jonathan feels she has some special liking for him. Whenever the idea comes up, he feels guilty and suppresses it. Now this man…God…tells it to him aloud into his ears. Can he keep quiet?

“Of course we are colleagues.” he said trying to avoid the subject,”What about my children?”

“You are worried about their future?”

“Like any father.”

“Something more than that, I know. You are afraid your daughter is marrying a Hindu.”

“Naturally, it is a cause for concern. How do they get on with each other with different religious backgrounds and habits? They are brought up in different cultures, different environment and beliefs.”

“No, both of them believe in God.”

“But their God is different from our God!”

“How so? Don’t you believe that there is only one God, which is me?”

“But their concept is different. They call their God by different names.”

“Does it make any difference? God is God by whatever name you call Him.”
“No, my God, you do not know the conflicts in real life…”

“Ah, there you are. God does not know what man knows. How arrogant? That is how intolerance grows. That is ignorance of religions. When you are intolerant to other religions, you cannot be expected to tolerate atheists as well. That is why you are worried about your son…”

“Don’t you think atheism is bad?”

“In what respect?”

“How can you appreciate people who do not believe in You?”

“You suggest that I must be angry with them for not believing in me. That shows you attribute all your human emotions to me and say they are of God.”
“But not believing in You is blasphemy.”

“No, it is not. They have a right to have their own beliefs, particularly because they know I am not real.”

“What do you mean? You are here and you say you are not real.”
“I am here because you believe in me.”

“You mean you are not here if I do not believe in you?”

“Certainly so. You believe in me because you need me. You feel insecure if there is no God.”
“But God is needed to make people behave like human beings.”

“Yes, like human beings, not like spiritual beings, clerics and bishops…”
“Of course, some yield to temptations….”

“You mean ethics is statistical and faith is absolute?”
“ I am talking of people in general….”

“People have faith in general – not because there is God.

People are ethical in general – not because they have faith in God.

Then where is the need for God?”

“It is not the question of need. God is there because he is there.”

“You need me to exploit gullible people.”

“It is not exploitation. Everyone believes by his own necessity. Each one derives comfort and satisfaction by believing in God.”

“You help sustain that belief applying false logic. If they are happy, you tell them God is merciful. If they are unhappy, you tell them that God is testing them. Or you are suffering because of your sins in the earlier life. Both ways the fault is not with God but only with the people. Wonderful logic! It is like the story of wolf and lamb.”

“In God people find solace and comfort and hope.”

“It is a false hope. It prevents people from taking responsibility for their own life. You tell them that God will be happy with their prayers and worships and gives them what they wish. It is the starting point for corruption. When God could be bribed, why not the political leaders and officers? They become loyal to God than to their parents.”

“You see there is reason for it. Parents are human like themselves and they will die someday. But God is eternal, He is there forever and so it is wiser to depend on Him than on parents. It serves them in life and after life.”

“This is another trap. It serves to frighten people and subjugate them to God. Exploitation is made more convenient and easier. There is no noble purpose served by me by staying with people. God is being used as a tool to exploit. It is better if I leave the world. At least one means of exploitation is reduced.”

Jonathan was surprised that God himself is disgusted with the way He is used as a means of exploitation. Why did He not prevent it? After all, He is omnipotent! But what if there is no God? Could the exploitation be stopped? It has to be stopped, but not by God leaving the world. The world needs Him. He must be made to stay.

“Do you think it is your will and pleasure to stay or to go?”

“Yes, why not? I can disappear from your presence if I want.”

“That is all you could do. But you cannot discard man and go away from him.”

“Why not? I want to go away now at this very moment.”

“It is not that individuals want God for sentimental satisfaction alone. Even learned scientists believe in God because they find utilization for it. There are so many institutions built around the concept of God. The question now is not whether there is God actually. The question is what purpose He is serving in human society and life. There is so much philosophy built around the concept – even if it is only a concept – that it is made to appear real. All the human ingenuity is used to make Him appear real. It is spread into the life of individuals and in society so that it is impossible to eradicate it completely from human existence. God is now part of human existence. Even if God is proved nonexistent, He cannot go away.”

“Do you mean man cannot be made free from God?”

“It is the other way round. God cannot be made free from man. Because man is making full use of God for his own benefit. That is why he is sustaining the belief in God and faith in the institutions by moulding God in the way required to serve any purpose. There is no other means by which a purpose could be served so effectively. That is why God is institutionalized. It is embedded in the human psyche and spreading from generation to generation like heredity. It is the meme that has found a place in the system. It cannot be eradicated. You cannot go away. There is nowhere for you to go even if you can go from here.”

“There is no need for me to go anywhere else. I am just an imagination. Just by killing that imagination, I can be free from the sin.”

“But you are no longer an imagination. You are as real as the other physical world. The fact that you are not physically visible is explained as a spiritual character which made you more desirable and effective. It has also made you inescapable. You can never leave this human world. You are bound to stay as long as man stays and perhaps even beyond.”

God stood bewildered. He was perplexed.

Jonathan burst into wild laugh. He achieved victory over God – victory for the mankind. He derived immense satisfaction that he proved God is a necessity and also inevitable in spite of all his science. There is now no conflict in him. He is convinced that God is part of man and there is no need to consider him as something separate from him in which he has to cultivate faith.

But God himself was shocked. All the while He was under the impression that He was omnipotent and omniscient. Now He realized that He is only a creature of Man. It is Man that created Him, that described Him and attributed all his powers and characters to Him for his own benefit. All His pride vanished. He felt weak and helpless. He was bewildered. His legs could not stand Him. He fell down onto the coach. His elbows rested on His knees and His hands cupped His face. Involuntarily, He cried aloud lamenting:

“Oh, my God!”.

(Author: Jawaharlal Jasthi, Jawarharlal Jasthi is associated with The Radical Humanist and active in rationalist circles)